Table for one, please.

Travelling alone, or just because you want to, there are times when you go into a restaurant and ask for a table for one. No big deal. Well, actually it can still be a big deal if you are a woman as I regularly (re)discover.
Since the age of about 18 I have been doing this and back then it was even harder. The first time I did it, I had just finished a long shift as a waitress in a pizza place and I really fancied taking a load off and having a curry. When I entered the restaurant (one of my favourites and it is still one I frequent after all these years)and asked for a table for one I think I must have developed two heads or at, the very least, an offensive odour. Heads turned, disapproving looks, whispered concerns.
Was I waiting for a companion to join me?
No, I'll have the menu please.
What was there about a woman choosing to dine alone that was so shocking? I'm not sure, but I definitely learned that it was 'not the done thing' that evening. Perhaps they felt sorry for me - 'Poor thing, no one to eat with.' Perhaps I was an aberration - 'Poor thing, no man to take her out on a date'. Perhaps they feared I couldn't/wouldn't pay - 'do women earn enough to pay for their own meals?' I don't know if it was one, or any combination of the above but the experience shook my confidence and it was a long time before I chose to dine alone again.
The next time I dined alone I remembered that first occasion and, feeling it was going to be an ordeal, I took book with me. I could read while waiting for my meal and that way I wouldn't have to look at the conspicuous disapproval from waiting staff and other customers. I would be too blissfully absorbed in my book to worry about what was going on around me. Well, yes and no. I still felt conspicuous and I could still feel the eyes watching me and I certainly heard the older woman at a nearby table saying to her (male) companion. 'Oh dear, she must have been stood up and is trying to put a brave face on it.'
On a side note, these comments can, unfortunately, be accompanied by a request that you 'must join them'. Always a difficult one, that! But one I learned, politely, to decline!
I have persevered with dining alone. It wasn't a pleasant experience in the early days but I learned to leave my book behind and enjoy the occasion. I like people watching, I like good food and I like my own company. In recent years I have frequently dined alone while away on research trips, at conferences etc and I have learned to roll with the comments or ignore them. Thankfully, attitudes are changing and it is no longer such a taboo. However, every now and then, I am reminded that it is still not an act that is totally accepted.
I was in Edinburgh at the weekend and before going to the birthday party I was there to attend, I went for an Italian meal on my own.
A table for one, please.
I recognised the look. The quick look round. Was there a table in a dark corner where they could safely serve me without causing an outrage? I smiled and pointed to a table by the window. I'll have that one, please.
Panicked waiters make sure you are served quickly. I didn't have a book to hide behind. I never do now. The food was good and as I glanced around the other diners I noticed another single woman in the dark corner. Neither of us felt the need to offer to share our company but we smiled at each other. I think we both understood the table for one problem.